Monthly Archives: November 2006

Happy Thanksgiving!

What a relaxing few days I have had. Although my legs are falling asleep as I write this (sitting on the floor at Barnes and Noble) I feel refreshed and ready to take on next week and the coming holiday chaos.

For Thanksgiving it was just Mom, Dad, and I. We divided up the meal and each cooked a couple things. Dad got a little ticked when Mom and I voted not to dress for dinner. He really likes to observe holidays and other important events by dressing up. He says that it is a way to show respect for the event. Usually that is fine with us but Mom agreed with me that we just wanted to keep things low key and unstressful this year. Also, I hadn’t brought anything that I could even fake to be more dressed up than pajamas. That would have been awkward, Dad in a tie and smoking jacket, Mom dressed up too, and me in my loungewear. 🙂

Not only did the three of us get along it was a good time too. The food was all ready right on time which seemed rather miraculous as well. Overall, it was a nice time. Oh, after dinner we smoked cigars and sat around the firepit enjoying the night. Mom is a pyro so she kept putting large handfuls of leaves and pinestraw on the fire to make it blaze up. I told her I thought she had opened the doorway to hell because of the 5-6 foot tall flames she created.

Let’s see. It was so nice to sleep finally. Having spent Monday night awake as well as Tuesday due to being stressed about work and other stuff falling into a warm bed Wednesday night and sleeping for 12 hours was just bliss. I am pretty sure that the wine and martini helped but being at home just helps me to relax. I wonder if my house will ever have that effect on me or if there is something about being with my parents that creates that calm.

I didn’t get to talk to my brother on the phone on Thanksgiving because my parents didn’t tell me he was on the phone. But when they were done talking to him Mom said he said hello and that he had used my turkey recipe to make his dinner. I had been upset that they hadn’t told me he was on the phone but I was so touched by what she said that I got over it quickly.

So, part of my stress has been that I really felt like I had messed up things with a friend of mine. He had told me he liked me and I was just so freaked out. So the next time I saw him I told him that I wasn’t going to call him again. Which wasn’t what I wanted but I was freaked out. On Thanksgiving I called him to say that I was freaked out but that I did like him and wanted to see him again. It went okay. At least I was able to stop thinking about it which was the real goal of the phone call.

I am seated under the “The NEW SAT and how to beat it” and “How to Write a Winning College Entrance Essay” books. It is making me self-conscious. I swear that I am not nearly as smart today as I was as a junior in high school when I had an immense vocabulary, could actually do a logarithm problem, and new about covalent bonds. But I guess I have more wisdom now then I did then. You can’t have it all I guess 🙂

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Am I a workaholic?

This is the question I have been debating lately.  As I tallied my timesheet for this pay period I was happy to see I had worked a full 20 hours less than last time.  But was still over a hundred and since I am on salary that makes my per hour pay something like 87 cents. 

Part of me wants to deny that claim and say that I love my job.  But since I have burst into tears at the office twice in the last six work days I’m thinking that maybe I’m burned out and not so much that I love my job. 

So why all the work then?  And the follow up question…why am I awake at 2am?  I think in the end the answer is that work gives me something to do.  If I work long enough and late enough that I get tired enough I can just come home, shower, and fall into bed.  Then I don’t have to figure out what to do with my time. 

That is profoundly sad.  But sometimes what is profoundly sad helps us get to things that are profoundly full of joy.  Hmmm.  I think maybe instead of thinking about going to the tanning bed I just need to suck it up and go.  That would probably help a ton. 

On a less depressing note I had three, yes, you read that correctly, three dates last week.  The first I felt like I was on an interview and don’t care whether he calls.  Which he won’t.  The second I had a good time but I think he is depressed so he won’t call.  Which is also fine.  The third was yesterday and I had a good time but I think he is way into me which means he called today and wants to see me again on Wednesday.  I’ll give him a chance I guess. 

I am going home for five days.  I just want to sit in my pajamas by the fire and read.  Or watch football.  And play with my dogs.  And sleep.  If I could sleep through the night I would be ecstatic!  And probably in a much better mood…

So that is my mid-November update. 

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