Monthly Archives: November 2007

A Happy Advent to One and All!

So I put on my Christmas “presentation” although the fall one was just lovely, this one reminds me of Iceland and Christmas.¬† ūüôā¬†Let’s see.¬† I have come home from work early these past two days with a silly old head cold.¬† It could be much worse but it just isn’t any fun.¬† Although coming home from work early is really nice.¬† Since I’m sick the bed feels really good as well.¬† So maybe this isn’t all misery and woe.¬† Cough, sneeze, blow nose, repeat.¬†

It has been 10 days of emailing and I am forgetting that words don’t mean much.¬† He just has this eloquent and witty turn of phrase that makes my knees weak.¬† Oh, and he sent me a poem today.¬† Wow.¬† It’s hard to breathe with all this stupid emotion going on.¬† So silly.¬†

I’m getting my hair cut tomorrow.¬† I wish I knew how to post pictures here cause I would do a before and after.¬† E has cool pictures and clip art on her blog.¬† Well, I’m trying right now to add a picture of Molly.¬† (Don’t worry I got her signed¬†consent)¬†¬† We’ll see what happens.¬† I think when I tried this before I was told by¬†Wordpress that it wasn’t allowed.¬† Holy cow that’s a BIG dog.¬† (I had to delete it because it took up 2 pages and 5% of my storage and I couldn’t figure out how to edit it…)

Thanksgiving was an interesting affair down in Georgia.¬† My Mom doesn’t like to share her kitchen and so asked me to bring my items already fixed.¬† Well, I called her on Sunday and said that I wasn’t going to have a chance to cook and that I knew this would¬†be hard for her but that I was going to cook in her kitchen.¬† So when I arrived on Wednesday night with groceries in hand I was a little surprised that she had already prepared all the dishes I had been asked to make.¬† But I took it in stride and reminded myself that she wasn’t trying to hurt me.¬† But it hurt a little.¬†

She was in a grumpy mood and so was Dad.¬† They spared around all day.¬† Yuck.¬† Just makes me want to tell them to either shut up or go fuck each other.¬† Whichever will cause the tension to ease is fine by me!¬† Dinner was a chaotic affair.¬† The original plan being to have everything done and eat at 1:30pm.¬† Around 11:30am Mom refigured the amount of time left to roast the turkey and decided that it wouldn’t be done until 3:30pm.¬† As no one had eaten yet Dad and I went to the store to get some snacks.¬† We had just finished our snacks at 1pm when Dad went into the kitchen to check the turkey.¬† Viola!¬† It was done.¬† So we ate dinner at 1:30pm missing a few side dishes as they hadn’t been cooked yet and didn’t have time to cook.¬† Oh and the pie would have been wonderful had it baked the amount of time it should have.¬† But mothers can convince you to do just about anything–even if you know better and they haven’t baked a pie before.

Friday the legacy of alcoholism reared its head at the fancy dinner we (Mom, Dad, Brother, Sister-in-law, and I) enjoyed at Bacchanalia.¬† (My dinner was lovely–shrimp with bacon, greens, and rice for an appetizer, pumpkin agnolotti (tiny ravioli) with cranberry chutney, greens, and a spiced butter sauce for an entree, a cheese course of aged cheddar, apple slices, and pecan brittle, finally dessert of a chocolate molten cake, homemade vanilla ice cream!¬† Oh, every bite was delicious!¬† Fabulous!)¬† My brother revealed after too much to drink that his bride of a little over 1 year had sat him down for the “talk”.¬† I have had the “talk” before with other people.¬† Wow.¬† For such a young marriage what a huge problem.¬† For such a young man, what a huge problem.¬† I sincerely hope that he is not an alcoholic but I suspect that is the case.¬† Having had run-ins with him and his drinking before it isn’t too hard to imagine.¬† Given our genetics and behavioral history he stands a good chance of being in for quite a fight.¬†

So sad. 

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Overthinking

Sometimes I wonder if everyone with ADHD overthinks things or if it is just a particular quirk to my personality/DNA mixture.¬† I’m pretty sure it is the latter more so than the former as I’ve known people with ADHD who clearly don’t think about anything.¬† Wouldn’t my life be far more entertaining if I acted more and thought less?¬†

But the problem with thinking less is that it can lead to thoughtless behavior.  For instance, inviting someone to my house and then an hour after they arrived asking them to leave because I was tired and wanted to go to sleep.  Now, if I had *thought* before I spoke inviting the person over the conversation would have gone something like this:

Self- “Boy, you sure went to bed late.”

Self- “Gee, I am feeling quite tired.”

Self- “You know, when Someone calls and asks if you want to hang out, you should say no.”

Self- “Good point.¬† I was supposed to do something with Someone tonight since I didn’t see Someone over the weekend.¬† I should figure out what I’m going to say.”

Self- “How about,¬†‘Gee, Someone, I’m very tired.¬† Why don’t we do something¬†some other time.’¬† What do you think?”

Self- “That should do it.”

See.¬† There would have been much less confusion and¬†hurt feelings that way.¬† But alas, the things I don’t think about are ridiculous- like how I am feeling.¬†

But I’m afraid Someone’s heart¬†is going to be broken soon by me.¬† I¬†am really falling for The Guy and when I hangout with Someone it doesn’t feel right and it isn’t fun.¬† I’m so not one of those people who can have feelings for one person and even hangout with anyone else.¬† It feels like cheating.¬† I know it isn’t because The Guy and I have only been on a handful of dates but I think it would bother him to know.¬† So.¬† Now comes the ugly part.¬† How about this conversation:

Self- “You should think about what you want to say to Someone.”

Self- “Oh, alright.¬† Here, I know, ‘Someone, I can’t see you anymore.¬† There is another guy I’m seeing and it is serious.'”

Self- “Except he is going to say, ‘You said you didn’t want anything serious.’

Self- “He’s right.¬† I don’t want anything serious with him.¬† He isn’t the right guy for me.¬† He was just fun along the way.¬† Doesn’t he get that.”¬†

Ack!  It is just downhill from there.  I will spare you the gore. 

Oh, by the way, I got kissed!¬† Yes!¬† At the end of our last date, with my arms full of games and such he put his hand on my shoulder and leaned in and kissed me as I was walking out the door.¬† It was a total surprise!¬† A little tickley…but I’m still grinning like an idiot over it.¬† ūüėÄ

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Another Fun (aka Fucked up!) Friday PLUS date highlights which are Fun (and NOT Fucked up!)

Okay, so a lot of my aggrivation right this minute is my own stupid fault.¬† I know better than to do what I did…assuming.¬† What a disgusting word!¬† I ASSUMED that the fact that I was paid last pay period when I supposed to be paid, that I would be paid this pay period like I am supposed to.¬† Well.¬† Big mistake on my part.¬† No paycheck.¬† The soonest the company will resolve the issue is Tuesday.¬† Which is just GREAT! because of course I wouldn’t have had my automatic withdrawls taken out as scheduled, oh no, not me, I know better than that!¬† Fuck.¬† So, I’m overdrawn.¬† Fuck.¬† Happy Friday!¬†

But I played a few games and worked passed fairly uneventfully for the day.¬† I came home took a shower, changed clothes, got beautified (just a little, not too much) and waited for him to show up for date #3.¬† He did.¬† So that is high marks in his favor right there.¬† ūüôā

¬†We went to Dinner Bell for supper since we only had an hour or so before we had to be at the theater and I was worried that SteakNShake would be a lot of waiting…slow service you know?¬† It was good although I was really sleepy so I don’t think I held up my end of the conversation very well.¬† We stumbled through though and by the end I had perked up and it wasn’t quite so awkward.

¬†Smiling like an idiot makes me feel like an idiot too.¬† But that’s okay because evidently feeling the way I do already lowers my IQ significantly.¬† Did you know that…being enamored, for women anyway, lowers their intelligence.¬† But I digress.

The movie was sold out.  So we had to choose between seeing/doing something else entirely or seeing the much later show.  We opted to see the much later show.  In the interim we sat and talked at Barnes and Noble.  It should have been an easier conversation but I was keenly aware of the fact that we were in public and so felt strange about the topic.  My hangup.  But we muddled through somehow.  Overall it was very enjoyable.  Oh, but there was the great move where I spilled chocolate flavored coffe on my arm, my chest, and down the front of my sweater.  Great. 

At the theater the guy sitting next to us talked to us a little off and on.¬† One of the last things¬†the guy¬†said, referring to his and my conversation was that we obviously have a great marriage (or something to that effect) with all the discussion.¬† Good thing I was on the inside of the row or it would have taken much willpower to stay in my seat!¬† He, of course, said the perfect thing, “Well, we will track you down and give you an invitation if that happens.”¬† Then he gave a nice little chuckle.¬† Sigh.¬† He is a great guy.¬† Or at least he seems to be.¬† Scares me to death.¬†

The movie was a solid “C”.¬† Beowulf in IMAX/3D CGI.¬† Like a videogame only more story line.¬† I think that should be the tagline.¬† 2 parts really bothered me…the CGI horses were horrible (no excuse!) and the suicide scene seemed really stupid.¬† Oh, and I had issues with Grendel actually being someone with MR/DD.¬† Yeah.¬† And the beating of the kid with MR/DD.¬†

After the movie we went back to my house and sat and talked for a brief while.¬† Sigh.¬† I wanted to touch him.¬† Not in a creepy lecherous way, but in a human contact sort of way.¬† I don’t know.¬† Shy.¬† Funny.¬† Whatever.¬† He left, no touching, no kiss.¬† I wanted a hug.¬† Didn’t say that though.¬† Too bad for me…

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Traffic School and the School of Life

Come on along with me on this fun, fun day!¬† I’m in traffic school as we speak!¬† Yes, traffic school is now available online for even more webtastic fun.¬† Each page is read aloud by a voice that makes me want to sleep, boy, I love the mute button.¬† So, every 30 seconds or so I flip back to that page and hit the “next” button.¬† Could not be more exciting!¬†

I saw Tim Burton’s “Nightmare Before Christmas” last night.¬† It was good although the ending totally caught me off guard.¬† It was in 3D and that was cool.¬† They are making “Journey to the Center of the Earth” into a 3D movie and we saw previews of it which looked good.

Oh, the “we” is the guy I’m really into right now.¬† It was our second date.¬† We saw the movie, walked around a bookstore discussing books, had pizza, went to my house to play a board game, went to his house and watched “The Venture Brothers”.¬†

I had a really good time.¬† We had really good conversation and laughed a lot.¬† Hmm.¬† But no kiss.¬† It seems he is rather old fashioned and although I would have liked a kiss I’m not sure he would have.¬† So, I tried not to even be in a situation in which that might be awkward.¬† I’m not¬†sure if that was the best course of action but it was the selected course of action.¬†

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Fear

Simple Exercise:

1.  Take a sheet of paper and draw a line down the center making 2 columns.

2.¬† Label¬†the column on the left–What I Fear.¬† Label the column on the right–Solution.

3.  List your fears in the first column.

4.¬† In the second column next to each fear write, “But God is Greater.”

 What do we have to fear when God is greater

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Novemberish

Here I sit.¬† I sit.¬† I sit.¬† Here I sit.¬† It’s what I do.

 Yawn.  Stretch.  Wake up.

¬†Okay…so when last we left our fearless heroine she was all in a twist over accepting a job she didn’t want, what to do with a badly misbehaving dog, and the difference between accepting and sinning.¬† So with the miracle of time there has been much resolution.¬†

The new job is…well…you know…crappy.¬† CRAPPY.¬† CRAPPY.¬† But I made it through training, received my first paycheck, and immediately began writing incident reports.¬† I don’t see this lasting long as I have already had altercations with department heads and staff.¬† Not the kind of fun I like to have.¬†¬† So I have a contract position which should start on Thursday doing some application writing.¬† Should be okay and good money.¬† If I can keep from splurging with it over the holildays I’ll be in good shape.¬†

Kaija went to a new home out in Ashland City.  The time between posting the ad and her being picked up was a little less than 12 hours.  Amazing.  She is the only dog on a farm with a teenage boy.  I bet she is having a great time.  Molly is MUCH happier.   She is sleeping more which means she is putting on weight which is a good thing.  Also, since she is the only one when I went to visit my grandparents in October I took her along.  They let her in the house!  They petted her and said she was good dog!  She was so pleased and so was I. 

October was a super busy month!  I went to Atlanta for Gamefest which was fun.  I went to the Farm with Mom, Dad, E, and S (and Molly too! although she refused to herd the cattle) and had a lovely time.  It was too dry to have a bonfire though which was disappointing.  We did make ice cream which was delicious.  It was hot and we swam in the spring.  

I have joined my friend T’s¬†RPG campaign and¬†am having a good time learning to play Amber.¬† Then one of the other guys in our group ran THS this past weekend which was fun too.¬†¬†So my already limited time is disappearing even more…I love it.

In the wonderful world of dating¬†there has been much humor of late.¬†¬†There has been the¬†Guiltfilled Baptist Booty Call,¬†¬†the Gay Guy, the Penniless Pauper, the Incredibly Bitter Newly Divorced Couch Potato, and the Guy That Could Make Me Drop the Others.¬† Sigh.¬† I try to keep myself open to possibilities but sometimes it just seems laughable.¬† I’ve already cut a few loose and may decide in the next few days to cut all but GTCMMDTO.¬† We’ll see.¬† He seems interested but his shyness may stand in the way.¬† Since I have to/get to see him fairly regularly it makes things complicated.¬† But this is *My* life I’m talking about so of course it is complicated!¬† ūüôā¬†

I’m super hyped that Lush is now putting their products in various Macy’s and that the one at Lennox in Atlanta will be getting one.¬† I left my solid shampoo bar at the Marriott along with my soap.¬† ūüė¶¬† But I can get a new one and the have my favorite soap again.¬† The stuff is just addictive plus it is good for my skin.¬† Maybe I’m becoming high maintenance?

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