AU arrived on 02/11/2011
7 pounds 9 ounces
I woke up around 5:15am today and after several unsucessful attempts at repositioning decided that it would be a good morning to watch the sunrise. I’m usually not coherent this early so I decided to act on impulse and figure out where to go to get a good view. I asked Mr. T if he wanted to come along or stay snuggled in. As I woke him up to put forth the invitation I was not surprised that he wanted to keep sleeping. Fine, fine. Momentarily, I thought my plans were derailed as I threw up the previous night’s dinner’s remnants. Afterward I felt better and more awake so, thankfully, I continued with my plan.
First, get dressed. Then procure coffee. Next, a trip to the lake. I figured that the lake was relatively north and that the parking lot at the park would face east-ish for a good display of solar radiance. Plus, there is nothing like sunlight and water, right?
As I made my way down roads and interstate it occured to me that my windshield wipers were on. It was raining. It was cloudy. I considered turning back but ultimately I am not discouraged. Okay, maybe it won’t technically be a sunrise I see, but the sky will lighten, right? The clouds won’t keep it night dark all day. Right?
Coffee in hand I locate the park and, well, park. A bird flies over or maybe a bat. It is dark. The water is choppy. As I sit I think about how spectacular our world is. There is nothing that I have to do this morning to make the sunrise. It just does. The birds don’t need me to tell them where to nest, fly, or when to eat. Life works. Nature works. Why?
Because God is.
Because he exists, regardless of His unending Love for us (of which there is no doubt!), it is simply because He exists that *all* is right with the world. His plan. His design. His perfect creation.
Cells divide. We breathe in. We sing. The leaves grow and change. New technology is made. We learn from our mistakes. Dogs bark. Kites fly.
He has provided everything for us. Even kites.
So the clouds were gray and low. It rained. But you know what? I saw several patches of blue beyond and more and more birds came out. Flying in perfect formations. Silently. Quietly. Greeting the day.
The sun rose. No, *I* didn’t see it rise. Didn’t even ever see it peek through the clouds. But I have faith that it did. I have assurance based on thousands? millions? of days before that each day it will. I have the promise that the Light shines in the darkness. The Light is not overcome.
I have no strength but through Him. I have no wisdom but through Him. He will make his path known to me in His time. I just have to wait. Patiently. Expectantly. The Light will come. Because it always does. And it will illuminate the best way. The perfect way. And I will follow.
So, today is *the* day. Ha! This is AU’s due date as guessed by a wheel, an interweb application, and family tradition (Happy Birthday Grampa!). In reality, this means I’m 40 weeks today and she will come when she is ready. Right? Just like no kids are breastfeeding at age 13, I’m pretty sure pregnancy ends…no woman has been pregnant forever, right? I’m acutally not tired of being pregnant the way I have heard lots of pregnant women complain. I think maybe Mr. T is tired of me being pregnant (he is doing such an awesome job of cooking and cleaning as I’m on bedrest. He is becoming a wonderful cook. Poached eggs are his current specialty. Which sort of is infuriating…I’ve never made an attractive poached egg but first try out of the gate (and second, third, fourth attempts as well!) Mr. T made magazine quality, picture perfect softly poached eggs. Okay, you are right, I cannot complain too much because I am on the receiving end of the edible egg perfection!) and is ready to meet his daughter. I cannot blame him! I’d love to be walking around the block and getting out of womb cuddles. I think I’ve gotten off track! Back to the point…today’s AU’s due date and so this morning I guzzled some more castor oil in hot chocolate. And about an hour later threw it up. I keep reminding myself that it can take up to 24 hours to work. Although at this point I think we are going to go back to the homeopathic remedies we were trying yesterday to some success. Any contraction is one closer to meet AU and one less I have to have in the future. Right? Right? Right? Hello??? 🙂
So, I’ve been asked several times if bedrest was driving me crazy. It is not. I have discovered “The Secret Life of the American Teen.” It is an *ABC FAMILY CHANNEL* program. Which would seem to indicate that it should be a great family program. Um. No. It is smut and NO teenager should watch it. Every kid in the movie is having sex, sometimes with multiple partners, and that is bad. But the parents are also all enmeshed (for example, as I type this the show is playing in the background of my computer and the high school girls are hosting a baby shower for a fellow pregnant high school girl meanwhile there are two high school students having sex in the bedroom of the condo where the party is taking place…yuck) and sleeping with one another. Add in the lies, deception, and the narcissistic personality disorder (at the minimum!) high school boy in therapy and I have no idea what redeeming quality the program offers. It isn’t the slightest bit licentious and instead is completely revolting. But like some many awful things in life which we are drawn to…I cannot look away. I have watched the entire first season and most of the second season. I will watch until AU is born or I run out of episodes. I post this as a cautionary tale not as encouragement. Please stay away!
So, the interwebs can be a valuable resource…in our house Dr. Google can be a frequent and steadfast companion. But in the last few weeks is almost a constant source of both information and what I assume to be disinformation. We have looked up everything from home induction techniques, random pieces of trivia, and research, research, research. Today for instance I looked up uric acid in pregnancy. Evidently, high levels are bad…but mine aren’t high. Just something the OB mentioned. And this is where things get difficult for me coming from a midwife model of care. With the midwife I always got copies of test results and new precisely what levels were. Although I have requested my records so I can have the information at my fingertips it hasn’t arrived yet (notice a theme here?!?) and so I have no idea how my labs look other than “normal” on Thursday but Tuesday worth a mention. Sigh.
So for induction attempts we have done homeopathic blue and black cohosh, lots of acupuncture, acupressure, castor oil, application of natural prostaglandins, a little bit of borage oil, curb walking, and hypnosis (“Baby Come Out!”). But, she is firmly home in my womb for now. I do realize that this could change in the next few hours or days or weeks and am trying to keep my spirits up. After all, no one is pregnant forever! Baby, come on out! We’d love to meet you!