So, I was panhandled at the grocery store tonight by the cashier, “Would you like to donate a dollar to the Food Foundation?”
“Um. Didn’t I just swipe my card for two hundred dollars to go toward the Food Foundation?” was my first thought. Then I thought, “Wow. This was the eighty gabillionth time I was panhandled whilst checking out at a store recently. Wouldn’t he be surprised if I asked for money myself in response?”
You know like this:
Cashier: Would you like to donate a dollar to the Food Foundation today?
Me: No. Would you like to donate five dollar to Heifer International today?
I thought, “Wow! That’s brilliant!” Instead of being annoyed when cashiers ask you to donate to their causes you can promote your cause (Oh, by the way, I heart Heifer! You should give them money so they can give chickens to poor folks. And then the poor folks who aren’t quite so poor anymore give chickens to other poor folks and so on and so on. You should give them money.) and raise awareness! Perfect!”
And then I thought. “Gosh, no. No one will believe I am raising money to help the less fortunate. They’ll take one look at my plus sized rear and think I’m fund raising for myself. The heifer. Nice.”
Nothing like a good self imposed esteem bash to end the day, huh?
By the way, “Would you like to give a dollar to Heifer today?”