Okay so a year? two years? a week? ago I read 1,000 Gifts by Ann Voskamp and although it was really difficult to get into. Imagine reading a book written by me as if I was blogging. Disjointed, stream of consciousness can be tough to synthesize paragraph after paragraph into a cohesive chapter/book. BUT once I got over that the message of the book was so profound for me as to be life changing.
My one take away from the book was that the first sin (and really all others after that!) was not being thankful. Period. If Adam and Eve had been thankful for the paradise God had given them they wouldn’t have needed the apple. Right? Right? Now think about any sin–adultery (not thankful for the spouse God gave you), theft (not thankful for the life God has given you), laziness (not thankful for the time and body God has given you)–and see how a thankful spirit could drive it away.
So I have trying and trying to create in myself a more thankful spirit. The book Franny and Zoey has a character that wishes to pray with every beat of her heart. I don’t really want that but I would like to be thankful with every breath. Obviously, some moments are easier than others to live in thanks. Other times I have to pray my way there. Other times I have to cry or laugh myself into thankfulness.
Yesterday in the car I was having some wild hormonalness going on (which according to my pregnancy journal should have eased WEEKS ago but for me seems to just be kicking in! Awesome!) and I was changing radio stations to avoid crying at Toyota commercials and sappy songs. One of my song stops was a rousing church dirg repeating the word, “forgiveness” over and over. Hmmm.
What if the next step after forgiveness is thanksgiving? What if forgiveness isn’t really enough. If forgiveness is sort of the start of the process God wants us to experience to move closer to Him? If forgiveness is the minimum that is expected of us?
So…to illustrate this thought I’m having…Mr. T and I had a little kerfuffle this afternoon coming home. Before he went to work we said our apologies and forgave each other and ourselves. Maybe the next step is thanking God for the opportunity to grow and learn with each other. Or what if I had started with thanks instead of “you cannot turn left here”?
I think I might be on to something here…