Category Archives: Fall 2007

Fall 2007

Another Fun (aka Fucked up!) Friday PLUS date highlights which are Fun (and NOT Fucked up!)

Okay, so a lot of my aggrivation right this minute is my own stupid fault.  I know better than to do what I did…assuming.  What a disgusting word!  I ASSUMED that the fact that I was paid last pay period when I supposed to be paid, that I would be paid this pay period like I am supposed to.  Well.  Big mistake on my part.  No paycheck.  The soonest the company will resolve the issue is Tuesday.  Which is just GREAT! because of course I wouldn’t have had my automatic withdrawls taken out as scheduled, oh no, not me, I know better than that!  Fuck.  So, I’m overdrawn.  Fuck.  Happy Friday! 

But I played a few games and worked passed fairly uneventfully for the day.  I came home took a shower, changed clothes, got beautified (just a little, not too much) and waited for him to show up for date #3.  He did.  So that is high marks in his favor right there.  🙂

 We went to Dinner Bell for supper since we only had an hour or so before we had to be at the theater and I was worried that SteakNShake would be a lot of waiting…slow service you know?  It was good although I was really sleepy so I don’t think I held up my end of the conversation very well.  We stumbled through though and by the end I had perked up and it wasn’t quite so awkward.

 Smiling like an idiot makes me feel like an idiot too.  But that’s okay because evidently feeling the way I do already lowers my IQ significantly.  Did you know that…being enamored, for women anyway, lowers their intelligence.  But I digress.

The movie was sold out.  So we had to choose between seeing/doing something else entirely or seeing the much later show.  We opted to see the much later show.  In the interim we sat and talked at Barnes and Noble.  It should have been an easier conversation but I was keenly aware of the fact that we were in public and so felt strange about the topic.  My hangup.  But we muddled through somehow.  Overall it was very enjoyable.  Oh, but there was the great move where I spilled chocolate flavored coffe on my arm, my chest, and down the front of my sweater.  Great. 

At the theater the guy sitting next to us talked to us a little off and on.  One of the last things the guy said, referring to his and my conversation was that we obviously have a great marriage (or something to that effect) with all the discussion.  Good thing I was on the inside of the row or it would have taken much willpower to stay in my seat!  He, of course, said the perfect thing, “Well, we will track you down and give you an invitation if that happens.”  Then he gave a nice little chuckle.  Sigh.  He is a great guy.  Or at least he seems to be.  Scares me to death. 

The movie was a solid “C”.  Beowulf in IMAX/3D CGI.  Like a videogame only more story line.  I think that should be the tagline.  2 parts really bothered me…the CGI horses were horrible (no excuse!) and the suicide scene seemed really stupid.  Oh, and I had issues with Grendel actually being someone with MR/DD.  Yeah.  And the beating of the kid with MR/DD. 

After the movie we went back to my house and sat and talked for a brief while.  Sigh.  I wanted to touch him.  Not in a creepy lecherous way, but in a human contact sort of way.  I don’t know.  Shy.  Funny.  Whatever.  He left, no touching, no kiss.  I wanted a hug.  Didn’t say that though.  Too bad for me…

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Traffic School and the School of Life

Come on along with me on this fun, fun day!  I’m in traffic school as we speak!  Yes, traffic school is now available online for even more webtastic fun.  Each page is read aloud by a voice that makes me want to sleep, boy, I love the mute button.  So, every 30 seconds or so I flip back to that page and hit the “next” button.  Could not be more exciting! 

I saw Tim Burton’s “Nightmare Before Christmas” last night.  It was good although the ending totally caught me off guard.  It was in 3D and that was cool.  They are making “Journey to the Center of the Earth” into a 3D movie and we saw previews of it which looked good.

Oh, the “we” is the guy I’m really into right now.  It was our second date.  We saw the movie, walked around a bookstore discussing books, had pizza, went to my house to play a board game, went to his house and watched “The Venture Brothers”. 

I had a really good time.  We had really good conversation and laughed a lot.  Hmm.  But no kiss.  It seems he is rather old fashioned and although I would have liked a kiss I’m not sure he would have.  So, I tried not to even be in a situation in which that might be awkward.  I’m not sure if that was the best course of action but it was the selected course of action. 

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Fear

Simple Exercise:

1.  Take a sheet of paper and draw a line down the center making 2 columns.

2.  Label the column on the left–What I Fear.  Label the column on the right–Solution.

3.  List your fears in the first column.

4.  In the second column next to each fear write, “But God is Greater.”

 What do we have to fear when God is greater

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Novemberish

Here I sit.  I sit.  I sit.  Here I sit.  It’s what I do.

 Yawn.  Stretch.  Wake up.

 Okay…so when last we left our fearless heroine she was all in a twist over accepting a job she didn’t want, what to do with a badly misbehaving dog, and the difference between accepting and sinning.  So with the miracle of time there has been much resolution. 

The new job is…well…you know…crappy.  CRAPPY.  CRAPPY.  But I made it through training, received my first paycheck, and immediately began writing incident reports.  I don’t see this lasting long as I have already had altercations with department heads and staff.  Not the kind of fun I like to have.   So I have a contract position which should start on Thursday doing some application writing.  Should be okay and good money.  If I can keep from splurging with it over the holildays I’ll be in good shape. 

Kaija went to a new home out in Ashland City.  The time between posting the ad and her being picked up was a little less than 12 hours.  Amazing.  She is the only dog on a farm with a teenage boy.  I bet she is having a great time.  Molly is MUCH happier.   She is sleeping more which means she is putting on weight which is a good thing.  Also, since she is the only one when I went to visit my grandparents in October I took her along.  They let her in the house!  They petted her and said she was good dog!  She was so pleased and so was I. 

October was a super busy month!  I went to Atlanta for Gamefest which was fun.  I went to the Farm with Mom, Dad, E, and S (and Molly too! although she refused to herd the cattle) and had a lovely time.  It was too dry to have a bonfire though which was disappointing.  We did make ice cream which was delicious.  It was hot and we swam in the spring.  

I have joined my friend T’s RPG campaign and am having a good time learning to play Amber.  Then one of the other guys in our group ran THS this past weekend which was fun too.  So my already limited time is disappearing even more…I love it.

In the wonderful world of dating there has been much humor of late.  There has been the Guiltfilled Baptist Booty Call,  the Gay Guy, the Penniless Pauper, the Incredibly Bitter Newly Divorced Couch Potato, and the Guy That Could Make Me Drop the Others.  Sigh.  I try to keep myself open to possibilities but sometimes it just seems laughable.  I’ve already cut a few loose and may decide in the next few days to cut all but GTCMMDTO.  We’ll see.  He seems interested but his shyness may stand in the way.  Since I have to/get to see him fairly regularly it makes things complicated.  But this is *My* life I’m talking about so of course it is complicated!  🙂 

I’m super hyped that Lush is now putting their products in various Macy’s and that the one at Lennox in Atlanta will be getting one.  I left my solid shampoo bar at the Marriott along with my soap.  😦  But I can get a new one and the have my favorite soap again.  The stuff is just addictive plus it is good for my skin.  Maybe I’m becoming high maintenance?

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Fall is Falling!

Well, the leaves have been for the past month anyway.  I guess no one has told them that it is still 90!  It has been awhile since I have written anything so I thought in my not sleeping time tonight I would update. 

Let’s see.  August was HOT. hot. and HoT!  Yuck!  Yuck!  Yuck!  But my client began to do much better and things were going well.  We have only 2 sessions left.  It is hard to believe but it is so wonderful to hear her mom say how much she has changed and the difference I have made.  That is so cool.

Also cool was seeing a ton of deer, armadillo, a fox, a rattlesnake, and various types of hounds almost every week on my way to work.  It is a great way to start the day to be so close to nature.  There is a house near where I go with a blue tin roof that I am so coveting.  It isn’t for sale and it is about 80 miles from Nashville but wow, the view! 

For Labor Day weekend I went down to Atlanta for DragonCon for the first time.  Wow!  As a friend of mine said, “This is like Spring Break for geeky adults!”  Yep.  It was 🙂  I played board games, RPGs, went to a panel discussing my favorite fantasy series, watched Dr. Who and The Hogfather in the BBC track, took about 50 pictures of people in the coolest costumes!  I wish wordpress has picture capability cause I would post some of them.  I got to hang out with my friends and make new friends.  We ate good food, drank good wine and cocktails, didn’t sleep, and laughed a lot.  It was SUCH a good time.  I enjoyed it so much I bought a ticket for next year.  Yep.  I’m a geek. 

K and I had a serious talk about 3 weeks ago.  I was lamenting my small house and not having room to have a dinner party.  She said, “Nonsense, if you wanted to have a party you would.”  So, I am.  Tomorrow.  Thanks to the beef guy.  Hopefully these ribeye steaks will be super tasty and the conversation will be good too.  I’m looking forward to it.

Oh, this week.  What a decision filled mess!  I got my BCBA certificate in the mail.  That is fantastic!  It is real and true.  I don’t know if I said that it was a fiasco.  It was a fiasco–but now it is real 🙂  But I also got a job offer.  See here’s the thing.  I want to do my business.  That’s what I want.  I have enough money right now to go about 2 more months.  But with the offer if I work for 2 months I probably have 3 more months (on top of the 2…) which is more time for the contracts to get processed etc.  I just don’t want my soul sucked out through eye sockets in the meantime.  I guess I have never had a job for the “money”.  I’ve mostly done what I’ve enjoyed for people I’ve either appreciated as colleagues or didn’t have to interact with them much.  So.  I feel crappy about taking a job I don’t want but maybe I’ll be suprised.

 So the wrestling has been: How do you recognize a door God has brought to you vs. a temptation that you are meant to avoid?  I’m not talking about easy things like the difference between going to church on Sunday morning or to the all you can eat brunch 🙂  I’m talking about things like this job offer.  How do I know if this is God’s way of saying, “You were worrying about money, now you don’t have to”, or the opponents way of saying, “Give up your dream, you’ll never make it, you’ll go broke and have nothing.”  See, very different messages.  Is walking the line between the two equally sinful? 

Ahhhhh.  But I put in a tentative acceptance i.e. I gave myself a 60 day trial.  We’ll see if that gets accepted or not. 

I wish there was an easy way to fly to Indianapolis.  I wish I could make carbonated water at home.  I wish I found it easier to sleep. 

I’m thinking about finding a new home for Kaija.  I have really mixed feelings on it.  I am not attached to her at all.  I resent her.  I don’t like her.  She is aggressive and mean.  I have a spot for her at a boarding school in November.  I’m trying to decide whether or not to keep her and do that or put up an add on Craig’s list for her.  She really needs a home where she is the only dog.  At least that is what I think now.  I have trouble remember how I felt about Molly in the beginning.  If I loved her then as much as I do now.  I have no idea.  My life was so chaotic and stressful then that I don’t remember much about it.  But I love her now and she is such a great dog.  It makes me feel guilty that I don’t feel similarly about Kaija.  Ahhhhh.

It is always something.  Isn’t it?

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